Jul. 6th, 2017

Smile ;)

Jul. 6th, 2017 09:11 am
med_cat: (cat in dress)
***

-Жора,шо Вы опять такой нервный? Вы пробовали складывать пазлы на 3000 элементов? Пробовали,но не складывается? Ну.вот! А ви, таки, хотите, шобы жизнь легко складывалась!

"George, why are you so on edge, again? Have you ever tried to put together 3,000 piece puzzles? Ah, you tried, have you, but couldn't put them together? So there you are! And you want for life to put itself together easily?!"


***
— Вовочка, сколько будет дважды два?
— Четыре.
— Правильно, а почему, объяснить сможешь?
— Да как-то так исторически сложилось…


"Vova dear, how much is two times two?"

"Four."

"That's correct, now can you explain why?"

"For historical reasons, I suppose?..."

***
«Жизнь прекрасна!» - Говорит каждое утро Фима Циценбогель. «Не моя, конечно, но всё же...»

"Life is beautiful!" Fima Tsigenbogel tells himself every morning. "Not _my_ life, of course, but nonetheless..."
***
— Ну как? Были у тебя в Лондоне проблемы с твоим английским?
— У меня нет. У англичан были.

"Well? Did you have any problems with your English, during your visit to London?"

"I didn't have any problems with it. The Londoners did."
****
— Так, сынок, быстренько собрал все свои разбросанные игрушки.
— Пап, да ну… Мне лень. Лучше я в углу постою…

"Now, son, quickly pick up all your toys that you've left all over the floor."

"Aww, Dad...I don't feel like it. I'd rather stand in the corner for a bit..."
****
— У тебя Билайн?
— Если бы у меня был Билайн, я бы на Феррари ездил и на Канарах жил. Это не у меня Билайн, это я у Билайна.

"Do you have Verizon?
"

"If I had Verizon, I'd be driving a Ferrari and living in the Caribbean. I don't have Verizon--Verizon has me!"

****
- Ты всегда соглашаешься со своей женой?
- Далеко не всегда.
- А как она к этому относится?
- Она об этом не догадывается!

"Do you always agree with your wife?"

"Not often at all."

"And what does she think about that?"

"She doesn't know anything about it."

(thanks for these to [livejournal.com profile] leto_12; translation's mine)

med_cat: (cat and books)
Little girl takes hamster who hasn't moved in days to vet - who makes a very odd discovery

Life would be a lot easier - and interesting - if our pets could talk.
As it is, we have to try and guess what's ailing our furry friends when we sense something is amiss.

No one, however - not even an rodent expert - could have guessed what was wrong with one worried little girl's hamster when she took it in to see the vet.

Science:

Scientists found 2 new primates, and they look like the best 'Star Wars' character.

This Awesome Periodic Table Tells You How to Actually Use All Those Elements

(you can download a printable version, too)

Medicine:

A Critical Look at "Dr." Robert Young's Theories and Credentials, which also explains in lay terms why all those "excess acidity in your blood is the cause for 99% of all illnesses" claims are utter nonsense.

A bit of retro-futurism:

How Soviet Artists Imagined Communist Life in Space

Vocabulary, reading, and writing:

The Grandiloquent Word of the Day 2018 Wall Calendar--take a look at some sample pages, and perhaps even make a pledge? ;)

Medieval Women Writers

A Guide to Writing Sherlockian Tea Habits

British Idioms, from Agatha Christie's Works
here they are: )
Applied psychology:

5 things I didn't want to hear when I was grieving and 1 thing that helped.

(nothing earth-shattering, but well-written)

Maryland attractions:

North Beach: Exploring a Local Gem

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med_cat

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