"Why failure hits girls so hard" by Rachel Simmons
A Mighty Girl
"Failing well is a skill. Letting girls do it gives them critical practice coping with a negative experience. It also gives them the opportunity to develop a kind of confidence and resilience that can only be forged in times of challenge," writes author Rachel Simmons. However, numerous studies have found that girls in particular struggle with handling failure well. In an insightful Time article, Simmons explores why girls may be so vulnerable to failure and how parents and educators can help them see failure in a more positive light.
Studies have found that girls are more affected by failure than boys because girls, especially intelligent girls, are prone to believe that it’s talent, not practice, that leads to success -- in other words, that failure is a result of lack of ability. One factor affecting girls related to failure is “stereotype threat.” If she fails in an area that girls are stereotypically not considered to be good at -- science or math, for example -- rather than consider a poor test result to be a correctible issue that could be improved by further study, it may simply confirm her belief that particular area is not for girls and add to her self-doubt about her competency in the subject.
On average, girls are also more likely to give up in a stressful academic situation; Harvard economist Claudia Goldin found that female students were much more likely to drop an Introduction to Economics class if they weren’t getting As. They are also more sensitive to how evaluators praise them: one study found that "praising elementary-school students for fixed traits and abilities, like being 'smart' or 'nice,' undermined intrinsic motivation for girls, but not boys." Alternatively, Simmons writes, "Praising effort ('You worked really hard on that') over ability has consistently been proven to motivate all kids, and especially girls."
Ultimately, she observes, "girls need educators and parents to challenge stereotype threat, reminding them that ability can always be improved with effort, and that who they are will not determine where they end up." And, girls need to have the space to experience failure and not be rescued by adults -- a practice which sends kids the message that they are incompetent and incapable. Reminding all children and girls in particular that the only way to improve is lots and lots of practice -- or, to put it another way, to fail lots and lots of times -- will help ingrain the understanding that failure is only the end of the line if they don’t try again.
To read Rachel Simmons’ entire article on Time, visit http://ti.me/1NTwDGU
To learn more why failure matters, check out the excellent parenting book Simmons' cites in her piece, "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed" at http://www.amightygirl.com/the-gift-of-failure.
In the inspiring picture book, "The Most Magnificent Thing," an inventive young girl learns that everyone makes mistakes -- the important thing is to keep trying! For ages 4 to 8 at http://www.amightygirl.com/the-most-magnificent-thing
For a wonderful picture book about the value of taking risks and embracing and learning from mistakes for ages 4 to 8, check out "The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes" at http://www.amightygirl.com/the-girl-who-never-made-mistakes
For more books for children and teens starring Mighty Girls who keep going even in the face of failure or other types of adversity, visit our "Resiliency" book section at http://amgrl.co/21U1M5F
Rachel Simmons is the author to several highly recommended books for parents of girls, including "The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence" (http://www.amightygirl.com/the-curse-of-the-good-girl) and "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls" (http://www.amightygirl.com/odd-girl-out).