A rather different "little list"...;)

[med_cat]

It's quite different from all other versions; do take a listen ;)

(debriswoman and lindahoyland--I think you will especially like this one ;))
~~

I'm much touched by this reception, much touched!
I can only trust that, by strict attention to duty, I shall enjoy the continuance of those favors which it will ever be my study to deserve!

If I should ever be called upon to act professionally, I'm happy to think that there will be no difficulty in finding plenty of people whose loss will be a distinct gain to the society at large!

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

There are various politicians, who annoy us all, I'm sure,
And vacuous celebrities whose stories we endure,
But even worse than all of them, as everyone here knows,
Are the characters that Mr Gilbert puts in all his shows!
I've chosen some examples, just to give you all the gist--
So, shall I read my list?
(Chorus:) Yes!

I knew you would insist!

(Chorus:) He knew we would insist--he knew we would insist,
So let's let him read his list, let's let him read his list!

There's Major General Stanley, in "The Pirates of Penzance",
Who falsely did insist his parents don't exist!
His military skills consist of singing way too fast,
And such a narcissist! He never would be missed!

And there's Sir Joseph Porter, in the show called "Pinafore",
He gets the captains's daughter, but Good God! Is he a bore!
The judge in "Trial by Jury", that conniving little elf,
So enraptured with the plaintiff that he marries her himself!

And no-one in the courtroom had so much as slapped his wrist!
I've got him on the list--I know he'll not be missed!

(Chorus:) He's put him on the list--he's put him on the list--
And we doubt he would be missed, we doubt he would be missed!

And finally, as all of you here present can attest,
There's just one thing I've missed, in making up my list--
A shady troupe deserving of immediate arrest,
Who never would be missed--who never would be missed!

For nothing's more ridiculous, as everyone agrees,
Than all these Yanks with British accents, playing Japanese!
But--the one who most deserves it is the singer we've all heard,
Who takes familiar patter songs and changes all the words!

And once I find out who he is, I guarantee you this--
That he will top the list! I know he'll not be missed!

(Chorus:) We're sure he'll top the list--we're sure he'll top the list,
And they'll none of them be missed--they'll none of them be missed!