Something I have found amusing, and perhaps you might, too--

Parodies of I am the Very Model of Modern Major General (43)

(via wendelah1 --many thanks!)

Other links:

The Major-General’s Song — Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘patter’ is still twisting tongues, from The Financial Times

Major General Song, from TV Tropes

Gilbert & Sullivan Do Tolkien

The Modern Entomologist

...which inspired this gem, here in the comments: I am the very model of a modern criminologist

and, by the same talented author, We Are The Very Model Of A Drug Squad Metropolitan

I am the very model of a Russian Major General (not so funny, alas, but as the times are, so is the humor)

I Am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual

I Am The Very Model of a YouTube Individual

Politics in General

Every Major's Terrible, xkcd comic

And the song it inspired:

A biblical- and ancient-Near-Eastern-studies–themed parody of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" from The Pirates of Penzance. Lyrics, musical arrangement, and vocals by Joshua Tyra, ⓒ 2011. Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan, original lyrics by William S. Gilbert.

It's quite different from all other versions; do take a listen ;)

(debriswoman and lindahoyland--I think you will especially like this one ;))
~~
( Lyrics: )

( Lyrics: )

(the lyrics in this last one below are a bit naughty, don't say I didn't warn you...:P)

And reading the news today made me want to add another verse:
~~
...And that Russian Culture Minister, Vlad Medinsky is his name,
An utter ignoramus and quite devoid of shame.
He first revised biology, then moved on to history--
They're thinking of revoking his Ph.D. degree!

First the "extra chromosomes", now canonizing communists--
I've got him on my list! I'm sure he'll not be missed!
~~

...Those who spread hate and sow discord, who disseminate prejudice and bigotry, and poison susceptible minds, definitely belong on the list!

Love, unrequited... When you're lying awake
(The Lord Chancellor's Song, from 'Iolanthe')

Enter Lord Chancellor, very miserable.

Lord Chancellor:
Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest:
Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers:
Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest,
And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!

When you're lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is taboo'd by anxiety,
I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in, without impropriety;
For your brain is on fire – the bedclothes conspire of usual slumber to plunder you:
First your counterpane goes, and uncovers your toes, and your sheet slips demurely from under you;

( Then the blanketing tickles... )

Another version, with the nightmare part modernized:



( Lyrics to this version, transcribed by me: )

The song is from 1959, it's sung to the tune of the "Major General's song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance".

Lyrics:

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

( There's yittrium... )

This is a marvelous version, do watch! The encores get funnier and funnier.

Thanks to debriswoman for telling me about this song ;)

A fine collection of cliches, but most entertaining and--sometimes--true.
~~~

~~~
"...Every journey has an end,
When at the worst, affairs will mend,
Dark the dawn when day is nigh,
Hustle your horse and don't say die!"
~~~

( Full lyrics: )

The Modern Entomologist
by Mark Isaak
with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern entomologist.
I've information useful to a tropical biologist.
I've studied which antennal parts of silverfish are muscular
And know quite well exactly which mosquitoes are crepuscular.
I scan the forest canopy in search of lepidoptera
And burrow beneath rotting logs for certain coleoptera.
I've mapped the complex passageways that termites always scurry in
And studied insect evolution back to the Silurian.
I know the economic consequences of herbivory
And all the different methods used for pesticide delivery.
In short, in matters vital to a tropical biologist,
I am the very model of a modern entomologist.

I watch as ants patrol the tunnels of their nests incessantly;
Some fireflies I have seen conversing bioluminescently.
I'll tell you gruesome stories of Mantodea ferocity
And quote you the statistics of Neuroptera velocity.
And then I've catalogued the major vectors of malaria
And listed all the earwigs in the Indonesian area.
I've analyzed the noises of the cricket and the katydid.
(The ones from Costa Rica made a sound like those from Haiti did.)
I've checked how mayfly populations vary with humidity
And double-checked all E. O. Wilson's theories for validity.
In short, in matters vital to a tropical biologist,
I am the very model of a modern entomologist.

In fact, when I know dragonflies from abdomen to mandible;
When I find aphids, fleas, and lice completely understandable;
When I have skill with killing jars and nets and other gimmickry;
And when I know minutiae of camouflage and mimicry;
When I have very detailed observations of a myriad
Of locusts reproducing in a seventeen year period;
When I know how cockroaches grow from instar to maturity--
My papers (when I write them) won't be destined for obscurity.
Although I've studied insects, and in all their great diversity,
I've yet to get my tenure at a major university,
But still, in matters vital to a tropical biologist,
I am the very model of a modern entomologist.

Here's another version, the most up-to-date I've found; I had posted others before, including the original one (the lyrics in that one are rather dated, to say the least), here: http://med-cat.livejournal.com/545594.html



"...and all commercial managers who want to cast a star,
They couldn't get one this time, they got me, so there you are!" ;)


( Lyrics here: )

**

( Lyrics: )

I like this version best:
"...for purists who insist piano music stops with Brahms,
I've got a little list: I'll make them sit through Liszt!..."
**


**( Several more versions, incl. the original version and lyrics )

**
This is just "Things are Seldom What They Seem", from a different performance by the same company:



( "Things are seldom what they seem..." )( "Things are seldom what they seem..." )

**
He is such a braggart--"the croaking chorus from 'The Frogs' by Aristophanes" :P
( Explanatory video and lyrics:  )