My Virtual Reading Room

Lyrics and translation:

Ох, мы неправильно питаемся, и худеть мы не пытаемся,
Вечно жрём, чего ни попадя, вечно пьём, чего нальют.
И только жёны наши бедные, диетические, бледные,
Одуревши от бескормицы, зелень вялую жуют.

Oh, we eat all the wrong things, and we don't even try to lose weight.
We're forever chowing down anything that comes along, and forever drinking whatever is poured for us.
And only our poor wives, pale and dieting,
Dizzy from lack of feed, chew on limp greens.( Read more... )

Please note: the song is from 2013, and one E. Ezzhev did a video w. it, using the Russian SH series (very cleverly done),

Lyrics:

Ой, много куришь, брат, от дыма я дурею.
Неважно выглядишь, по правде говоря.
Сидишь без денег? Так купил бы лотерею!
Не веришь в лотерею? Это зря!
От пессимизма до инфаркта путь недолог…
В каком мы месте, говоришь? Нет, извини!
Ведь это ж узкий взгляд, а ты ж, брат, не проктолог,
Смотри, брат, шире, в перспективу загляни.

Oh, you smoke too much, brother; the smoke is stupefying me.
You don't look too well, frankly speaking.
You are broke? Why don't you buy a lottery ticket?
You don't believe in lotteries? Ah, but you should!
The path is short from pessimism to a heart attack...
What kind of place are we in, you say? Oh no, excuse me!
That is a very narrow viewpoint, and you, brother, are not a proctologist,
Take a wider view, glance at the perspectives.( Read more... )

Lyrics and translation:

Ты знаешь, Петя, я зауважал науку.
Сейчас такое злое время на дворе.
Страна не та уже давно, а скорость звука
Всё та же, что при батюшке царе.

You know, Petya, I've come to respect science.
We live in such evil times.
Our country hasn't been the way it used to be, for a long while now,
But the speed of sound
Is exactly the same as it was when the Tsar our father was in power.
( Read more... )

...do you notice the allusion in the title?...

Lyrics and translation:


Рано утром дядя Жора
Встал, не торопясь умылся,
Отравился «Беломором»,
Чёрным кофе отравился.
Покормил котяру, в душе
Спел о Стенькиной невесте,
А потом омлет откушал
Под последние известья.

In the early morning, Uncle Zhora
Got up, unhurriedly washed his face,
Poisoned himself with a cigarette,
Poisoned himself with some black coffee.
Fed his cat, and in the shower
Sang about Stenka's bride.
And then he ate an omelette
While listening to the daily news.

В новостях опять всё то же —
Террористы, депутаты,
И о том, что мы всё можем,
И как нам мешают Штаты.
Он помог жене с посудой,
Чмокнул в ухо внучку Лену:
«Будешь маму слушать?» — «Буду!»
Ну, пока! Пора на смену.

In the news, it's once again, all the same stuff--
Terrorists, Duma members,
And talking about how we can do anything we want,
And how the United States are interfering with us.
He helped his wife wash the dishes,
Kissed his granddaughter Lena on the ear:
"Are you going to listen to your mom?" "I will!"
Well, bye then! Time for me to go in for my shift.
( Read more... )

...Not so funny anymore, after the last couple of years, but...perhaps you might like it nonetheless...

The song starts at 5:30


Translation of lyrics:

A photographer tells his story on the commuter train:

All my buddies have money and honors,
Some are serving in the police, some in the mafia,
And me, I was sitting in the studio and looking through the camera lens,
'Cause I'd loved photography ever since my childhood.

I took passport photos and driver's license photos,
And did formal portraits.
I can say without bragging--I'd achieved mastery,
But people started noticing something was off.

( Read more... )

Я читаю про Великих Людей –
Кто был циник, кто тиран, кто злодей.
И обидно слышать мне от родни,
Что не великий я, как «те», как «они»,
Что мусор я не выношу,
Свет в туалете не гашу,
Чревоугодием грешу –
Так это ж разве грех?
Вот взять Великих – кто блудил,
Кто квасил, кто жену лупил.
А я что? Свет не погасил?
Смешно. Курям на смех.
Вот смотри:

I read about the Great Men--
This one was a cynic, this one, a tyrant, this one, a villain.
And it's upsetting to hear my family tell me,
That I'm not a great man, not like "these" or "those",
That I don't take the trash out,
Don't turn the light off in the bathroom,
That I'm guilty of the sin of gluttony--
Well, that's not much of a sin, is it now?
Here, if we take the Great Men--some of them ran around,
Some drank, some beat their wives.
And me, what about me? I didn't turn the light off?
That's ridiculous. Enough to make the cat laugh.
Why, look here:( Read more... )

Translation of lyrics:

You will perhaps think it odd,
But I've suddenly discovered that it's good to be drunk.
I thought perhaps I imagined it--
So I had another drink,
And it turned out to be a real cool feeling!( Read more... )

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