“He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice, and said,
"Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back and said,
"Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, and she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!”

― Dan Clark, Chicken Soup for the College Soul: Inspiring and Humorous Stories About College

A Mathematician's Love Proposal

You integrate my differential
And dislocate my focus.
My pulse goes up like exponential
Whenever you cross my locus.

Without you, the world is null and void:
So won't you be my cardioid?

(An old favorite; cross-posting to greatpoetry )

The Puritan's Ballad

My love came up from Barnegat,
The sea was in his eyes;
He trod as softly as a cat
And told me terrible lies.

His hair was yellow as new-cut pine
In shavings curled and feathered;
I thought how silver it would shine
By cruel winters weathered.
( But he was in his twentieth year, / This time I'm speaking of... )

Translator's note: Arcady Hait is from the same time period and group of humorists as Zhvanetsky, one of whose pieces I showed here before--"One Day, on TV..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

У англичанина есть жена и есть любовница, но он любит жену. У француза есть жена и есть любовница, но он любит любовницу. У еврея есть жена и есть любовница, но он любит маму.

К чему я это говорю?.. Чтобы вы знали, что такое еврейские мужья. Если не знаете, то я скажу: еврейский муж – это самолет, потому что на земле от него нет никакой пользы.

An Englishman has a wife and a mistress, but it's the wife he loves. A Frenchman has a wife and a mistress, but it's the mistress he loves. A Jew has a wife and a mistress, but it's his mamma he loves.

Why am I telling you this?...So you would know what Jewish husbands are like. If you don’t know, then I will tell you: a Jewish husband is like an airplane, because he is of no use to anyone on the ground.

Впрочем, не буду отвлекаться, расскажу все по порядку.
Мой первый муж, Изя, был порядочный человек. Честный, скромный, не швицер, не фасонщик. У него был только один недостаток: он был шибко партийный. Когда его в первый раз увидела моя мама, она сказала всего три слова: а ничтожество, а гурнешт, а коммунист. А от себя добавлю: не просто коммунист, а мишигенер коммунист.

However, I won’t digress and will tell you everything in order. My first husband, Izya, was a decent man. Honest, modest, not a dandy and not a show-off. He had only one flaw: he really believed in the Communist Party. When my mother saw him for the first time, she said just three words about him: a nothing, a Gurnesht, a communist. And I myself will add: not just a communist, but a mishigener communist.( Read more... )

Butterflies at a wedding

Whales rocking a boat

It’s never too late to keep bees, build a sailboat or become an artist

(all from The Washington Post)

Four from The Cut:

The Lure of Divorce

(Seven years into my marriage, I hit a breaking point — and had to decide whether life would be better without my husband in it.)

My Marriage Was Never the Same After That

In 2016, I wrote a poem that went viral. My home life got complicated.

5 Marriage Counselors on What Therapy Can’t Fix


The Day I Put $50,000 in a Shoe Box and Handed It to a Stranger.

I never thought I was the kind of person to fall for a scam.


And one from The Washington Post:

Yes, it’s a scam: Simple tips to help you spot online fraud

2. Valentine's Day Gifts for Every Stage of Your Relationship (taken with a LARGE grain of salt ;))

3. Caroline Hax's Best Columns About Love

.

Warm Companion, from Journal of Clinical Oncology, via MedPage Today

Do take a look, I think it's well worth reading...this is the conclusion:

"...Companioning represents sacred stillness, not frantic fixing. Companioning means being present to another's grief, pain, or suffering. Companioning represents profound presence rather than rescuing. A primary tenet of companioning is bearing witness to the struggles of others without shying away.

As I tried to add warmth to the pile of pups, I thought about how we've all been walking on thin ice in medicine, especially during the pandemic.

Companioning applies to contingency or crisis phase. Companioning has meant holding up the iPad for telehealth hospice goodbyes during visitor restrictions. Companioning has meant tirelessly advocating for vaccinations and masks without judgment or unkindness. Companioning has meant pivoting to telehealth to continue to caringly check in on patients with immune system vulnerabilities while protecting them from clinic exposures. Companioning has meant wiping the brow of a colleague when they can't reach past their protective layers. We haven't been able to rescue the curve or fix the surges. Still, companioning means being present for each other and our communities to offer healing warmth in a cold world."

Some good ones here

1,500 People Give All the Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need

Look at the darling knitted mice ezhiuke  made for me! :)

The chef mouse and plate were a gift from my husband, a few years ago, on Valentine's Day. The recipe is spot-on, I think...;)

(Do take a look, it's not long and quite funny ;))

(Do take a look, it's not long and quite funny ;))

See below ;))



Greg Eyler, in the Vintage Postcards from the Past FB group

Early 20th Century Postcard LEAP DAY:

In the early 1900s Leap Year postcards were marketed throughout the entire year. This particular card is from 1908. Postmarked from Maysville, Kentucky and dated January 4th. Sent to a Miss Prickett Hutchison of Mayslick, Kentucky, however the sender did not sign their name on the card. The correspondence reads:
"Don't get discouraged. This is just the first of leap year. Do your best. I will try too. Write soon."

Два вечера

Мы стояли у Москвы-реки,
Теплый ветер платьем шелестел.
Почему-то вдруг из-под руки
На меня ты странно посмотрел -
Так порою на чужих глядят.

( Read more... )
Two Evenings

We were standing near the River Moskva,
And the warm wind was rustling my dress.
Suddenly, you glanced at me funny
From under your hand--
Sometimes, people look at strangers this way.

( Read more... )

Оно, наверное, смешно...

Оно, наверное, смешно:
На склоне лет — стихи.
Но можно новое вино
Влить в старые мехи.

( Read more... )
I suppose it's ridiculous...

I suppose it's ridiculous--
Writing poetry in one's old age.
But new wine
Can indeed be poured into old skins.

( Read more... )