My Virtual Reading Room

Carolyn Hax chat from Feb. 21, 2025

You can scroll down to the "Mental Health" question, and I'll also post it below


Mental Health
Guest
Feb 21, 1:03 p.m.
Just a simple question if you can get to it: How do you make yourself happy - when the world demands you to be sad?( Here's the answer: )


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And here's the article about the seal, which was referred to in the chat:

A seal is found wandering streets of New Haven, becomes local celebrity

Spotted five miles from the water, the pup was taken to an aquarium for rehab and eventual release.

(Take a look--it has cute photos)

"The Small, Happy Life", by David Brooks, from The New York Times (2015)

"Ask Yourself: What Are You Grateful For?", by Donna Britt, from The Washington Post (2020)

"The Dog's Wet and Life Is Wonderful", also by Donna Britt, from The Washington Post (1995)

(all three links are gift links)

A Lighthouse for Dark Times, from The Marginalian

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

Kahlil Gibran

(cross-posting to greatpoetry )

Health and Medicine:

These 'Zebra' Cases Were Cracked by People Other Than Doctors, from Medscape

— Popular Reddit thread captures rare diagnoses made by patients, lab techs, first responders

This 70-year-old retiree just graduated med school. He has this advice for others, from CNN

Women who are blind play a critical role in identifying possible breast cancers, from NPR


Reading, Writing, and Life:


Sometimes I don't know why I bother!, by Charlie Stross

"The trouble with writing fiction is that, as a famous novelist once said, reality is under no compulsion to make sense or be plausible. Those of us who make stuff up are constantly under threat of having our best fictional creations one-upped by the implausibility of real events. I'm pretty much resigned to this happening, especially with the Laundry Files stories: at least space opera and fantasy aren't as prone to being derailed as fiction set in the near-present.

But there's a subtle corollary to the impossibility of story-telling keeping up with reality, and that's the point that it is also pretty much impossible to invent protagonists who can keep up with reality. [...]"


And two from John Scalzi:

Please Don’t Idolize Me (or Anyone, Really)

Reader Request Week 2014 #6: Enjoying Problematic Things

Nerds and geeks are taking over the Paris Olympics

Geeks find an obsessive interest that most others don’t share, then pursue it intelligently. That’s why they’re having so much success at the Summer Games.

My neighbor lived to be 109. This is what I learned from him.

Nurse began working at hospital during WWII and hasn’t stopped. She’s 97.

(great story but a somewhat misleading title)

From Svitlana Roiz's FB:
(she's a clinical psychologist)

Вогонь – це травматичний досвід. І ми, буквально, плавимося до рівня своєї наповненості, до рівня своїх сенсів та віри. Тому так важливо тримати стакан, тобто наше фізичне та метафоричне тіло наповненим.


Fire is traumatic experiences. And we, literally, melt to the level to which we are filled, to the level of our meanings and beliefs. That is why it's so important to keep the cup, that is, our physical and metaphorical body, filled.

Here's the entire post:
( Read more... )

People, Relationships, Children, and Sports:

Pride sign decayed as a man fought cancer. Neighbors revived it, from The Washington Post

Silver Spring neighborhood restores iconic LOVE sign to honor its creator, Mike Heffner, who died of cancer last year.

They wanted to foster a child. Overnight, they got 3: ‘Can we do this?’

“These kids needed a place to live, and they needed to be together,” said PJ McKay, who documents his fatherhood journey with his husband.

An Olympic friendship that defied Hitler, from BBC

(thanks to lindahoyland for this link)

Science, Healthcare, and Art:

What is it like to attend a predatory conference?, from Nature

Nature sent a reporter to find out as part of an investigation into dud events.


  Nurse Survey Signals Improvements, Though Retention Still a Problem from MedPage Today

— Efforts to "recruit more nurses are akin to fueling a car with a leaking gas tank," one RN says

... "You can't recruit your way out of a retention problem."...

As Surrealism Turns 100, a Look at Its Enduring Legacy , from ArtNews

Anthropological trivia from Sapiens

Did he want a cat scan? Mountain lion makes surprise visit to Arizona hospital, from USA Today

What are red sprites, blue jets, and other Transient Luminous events?, from Paul M. Smith Photography

(check out their FB page btw--amazing photos)


and three from Medium:

How to Become the Best in the World at Something

With skill stacking, you don’t need to be at the top to be extraordinary

(an interesting perspective)

We live to compete. What I learned by winning the Duolingo diamond league

Common side effects of not drinking

By rejecting alcohol, you reject something very human, an extra limb that we have collectively grown to deal with reality and with each other. Getting around without it is not painless.

(I was a bit puzzled by this one actually, but I suppose, as with many things, it depends on one's experience and social circle...)

Butterflies at a wedding

Whales rocking a boat

It’s never too late to keep bees, build a sailboat or become an artist

(all from The Washington Post)

“You can’t meditate your way out of a 40-hour workweek with no childcare”
-Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

~~~
(source: www.poojalakshmin.com/realselfcare)
~~~

Be resilient? What do you think I’m doing?, from The British Medical Association

(via debriswoman--many thanks!)

How the self-care industry made us so lonely, from Vox

Middle age shouldn’t be a drag. How a ‘chrysalis’ mind-set can help, from The Washington Post

Author and hospitality guru Chip Conley wants to replace the midlife crisis with a midlife renaissance.

The Checkup With Dr. Wen, also from The Washington Post

About "six feet apart", and other related questions and concerns

Cat roams university campus for 4 years, gets doctoral degree, from The Washington Post

“It’s hilarious that he now has a doctoral degree — but he really deserves it,” said Ali Impomeni, a student at Vermont State University.

...Max, "Doctor of Litter-ature"...;))


Maryland diner turns leftover bacon grease into soap to save money, also from The Washington Post

*

...sometimes, the Memories feature on FB can be interesting...it brought me these two today, which I'd originally reposted on FB 10 years ago:

Today I will refuse to jump into the middle of others' affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own problems, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other.

—Melody Beattie


Shut down the drama in your life. It's unhealthy. Arguing and fighting creates dis-ease. Stay away from negative, selfish, energy-draining relationships that do not honor you, or even worse ~ use you, abuse you and take advantage of your kindness. Don't buy into their negativity or guilt trips. Resolve to live in peace.

Don't attempt to change others. There's enough work to do on yourself. Develop relationships where all parties can grow. Create an atmosphere of mutual respect, love and appreciation. Free yourself from inner chaos by meditation, relaxation, and stillness. What you create inside of yourself will manifest outside yourself. Create a sanctuary where you can live in peace, relax your mind, revive your spirit and renew your purpose. You Deserve!

—Les Brown

I am dying at age 49. Here’s why I have no regrets.

Life is all about a series of moments, and I plan to spend as much remaining time as I can savoring each one

Perspective by Amy Ettinger, from The Washington Post

and a follow-up, 6 months later:


I have little time left. I hope my goodbye inspires you.

We are all learning, in our own ways, how to let go

They’ve lived 100 years. Here’s their advice about everything ,from The Washington Post

Rachmaninoff’s last living piano student lives in Pa. She’s 99, also from The Washington Post

Facebook is entering middle age. So are you (also from The Washington Post)

The Real COVID Isolation Headline That Nobody Is Picking Up On, from MedPage Today

Breaking Down the Latest on Long COVID Research, also from MedPage Today

Here's How Effective the Latest COVID-19 Shots Are for Adults (also from MedPage Today)

Four from The Marginalian:

Kurt Vonnegut’s Life-Advice to His Children

Turning Loss and Loneliness into Wonder: How the Victorian Visionary Marianne North Revolutionized Art and Science with Her Botanical Paintings

The Blue Hour: A Stunning Illustrated Celebration of Nature’s Rarest Color

How the Great Zen Master and Peace Activist Thich Nhat Hanh Found Himself and Lost His Self in a Library Epiphany

And one from Google Books:

Krylov's Fables, translated into English verse

Age makes the miracles easier to see, by Anne Lamott, for The Washington Post

www.zenpencils.com/comic/rhodes/

(yes, I know it's not as simple as he makes it out to be--and yet...)