This journal is mostly public because most of it contains poetry, quotations, pictures, jokes, videos, and news (medical and otherwise). If you like what you see, you are welcome to drop by, anytime. I update frequently.

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Posts Tagged: 'humor'

Apr. 5th, 2025

med_cat: (cat and books)
med_cat: (cat and books)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (cat and books)


The caption says: "When mice got into our house, we decided to get a cat. Now we're feeding everyone."
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Apr. 1st, 2025

med_cat: (Spring tulips)
med_cat: (Spring tulips)

NORMAN ROCKWELL APRIL FOOL (GIRL WITH SHOPKEEPER, CURIOSITY SHOP), 1948

med_cat: (Spring tulips)

NORMAN ROCKWELL APRIL FOOL (GIRL WITH SHOPKEEPER, CURIOSITY SHOP), 1948
There are many objects and details that are wrong or with a lot of humor in this painting!!
Can you find them??



(from Vintage Postcards FB page)

Apr. 21st, 2024

med_cat: (Default)
med_cat: (Default)

"Yes, we have no bananas"

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Feb. 16th, 2024

med_cat: (SH education never ends)
med_cat: (SH education never ends)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (SH education never ends)
У ГЕШТАЛЬТ-ТЕРАПЕВТА

– Доктор, меня все время мучают подозрения, что никто меня не понимает. Куда ни взгляну – пустые лица, отсутствующие взгляды.

– А кто вы по профессии?

– Университетский преподаватель. Читаю курс квантовой физики.

At the psychotherapist's office

"Doctor, I am constantly troubled by the suspicion that no-one understands me. Everywhere I look, I see blank expressions and absent looks."

"And what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a university professor. I'm currently teaching a course in quantum physics."

(from B. Akunin's "Intellectual Jokes" collection)
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Feb. 12th, 2024

med_cat: (Blue writing)
med_cat: (Blue writing)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (Blue writing)
Буфетчица в кафетерии филфака говорилa напарнице, с ненавистью глядя на очкариков:

– Давай ты напишешь на ценнике: «Свеже-сваренный кофе – 100 рублей», а я напишу: «Свежесвареное кофе – 50 рублей».
Посмотрим, как они мучаются моральной дихотомией и предают свои идеалы.


The cashier in the coffee shop in the university's English department said to her colleague, whilst looking at the bespectacled customers with undisguised contempt:

"How about this? You should write on the price list: 'Freshly brewed coffee: $4', and I will add, 'Fresh brood cofee: $2'. And then both of us can watch them suffer from moral dichotomy and betray their ideals."

(from B. Akunin's "Intellectual Jokes" collection; translation is mine, with assistance from [personal profile] lindahoyland )
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Jan. 31st, 2024

med_cat: (SH education never ends)
med_cat: (SH education never ends)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (SH education never ends)
Старенький профессор математики встречает бывшего студента.

-Скажите мне, дорогой, я всех своих учеников спрашиваю: пригодились ли вам математические познания в жизни?

-Конечно, пригодились. Вот у меня недавно кепка бухнулась в лужу, так я согнул проволоку в форме интеграла и достал. Спасибо вам, профессор!

An elderly math professor runs into a former student.

"Tell me, my dear, I ask all my students this: have you found mathematical knowledge useful, in your everyday life?"

"Of course I have. Recently, my cap fell into a puddle, so I bent a piece of wire into the shape of an integral and fished it out. Thank you, Professor!"

(From Boris Akunin's "Intellectual Jokes" collection)
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Dec. 22nd, 2023

med_cat: (cat and books)
med_cat: (cat and books)

A compilation, from my archives

med_cat: (cat and books)
Conan Doyle, in his own words

How heavy is a glass of water?

Three letters of advice

Cooking (Mis)Adventures, or Mishka's Gruel
(this one makes me laugh every time)

There is nothing secret that shall not be made manifest





Nov. 14th, 2023

med_cat: (Default)
med_cat: (Default)

Smile ;)

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***


(with thanks to [personal profile] full_metal_ox )

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Nov. 7th, 2023

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med_cat: (Default)

"Oh my darling grandpa"

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The dance moves are quite impressive, do take a look! (even if the lyrics are quite silly)

Oct. 18th, 2023

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All the songs of Leopold the Cat

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Feb. 5th, 2022

med_cat: (Blue writing)
med_cat: (Blue writing)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (Blue writing)
An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
 
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
 
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
 
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
 
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
 
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
 
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
 
• A question mark walks into a bar?
 
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
 
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
 
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
 
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
 
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
 
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
 
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
 
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
 
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
 
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
 
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
 
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
 
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
 
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
 
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
 
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
 
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
 
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
 
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

(found via [personal profile] elenbarathi --many thanks!)
 
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Jan. 31st, 2022

med_cat: (Default)
med_cat: (Default)

Smile ;)

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Кузьмина Наталья

Разговоры,разговоры,слово к слову тянется)))

Местные дворники.
– Я этой фифе с седьмого этажа так и сказала: вы из себя все интеллигенцию корчите, а на ваш мусор глянешь, так сразу понятно, что вам до интеллигенции, как мне до луны!

Дама в троллейбусе раздраженно говорит по телефону:
– Что ты плачешь?! Он у тебя как хронический насморк —ушел, но все равно вернется!

Старушка строго выговаривает другой старушке:
– Вы, Полина Ивановна, сперва очки наденьте, а потом уже кокетничайте.
Read more... )

Dec. 16th, 2021

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med_cat: (Default)

A blast from the past...;))

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Nov. 28th, 2021

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Gefitle fish, sung by Efim Aleksandrov

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Apr. 18th, 2020

med_cat: (cat and books)
med_cat: (cat and books)

Some Shakespearean comedy ;)

med_cat: (cat and books)
The daughter of a friend's friend plays in this, do take a look and like/comment if you can!

They've a number of other recorded performances on their channel, and plan to post more: Oddsocks Comms

And here's their Much Ado About Nothing!

Part 1:



https://youtu.be/v8VA2MaO7Lg


Part 2:



https://youtu.be/Di0vh12hiDo

Apr. 12th, 2020

med_cat: (Spring tulips)
med_cat: (Spring tulips)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (Spring tulips)


Happy Easter, to everyone who's celebrating it :)

Apr. 11th, 2020

med_cat: (cat in dress)
med_cat: (cat in dress)

I couldn't resist ;)

med_cat: (cat in dress)


Apr. 10th, 2020

med_cat: (cat in dress)
med_cat: (cat in dress)

Smile ;)

med_cat: (cat in dress)

"Hello, I bought a super-powerful vacuum from your store yesterday..."

"I'm having trouble hearing you."

"Well no wonder!...I'm calling from inside the vacuum bag..."

-Алло, я купил у вас вчера сверхмощный пылесос...

-Вас плохо слышно.

-Ясен пень, плохо...Я звоню из мешка для пыли...
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Mar. 28th, 2020

med_cat: (dog and book)
med_cat: (dog and book)

A funny tidbit for your Saturday :)

med_cat: (dog and book)
Lack of sports hits broadcasters hard...

...So this gentleman in the UK arranged a local sporting event to comment upon:

https://twitter.com/MrAndrewCotter/status/1243539675031232519

(do take a look, quite short and very funny)

Sep. 3rd, 2019

med_cat: (SH education never ends)
med_cat: (SH education never ends)

For everyone with school-aged kids ;)

med_cat: (SH education never ends)


"I'm telling you for the last time! Get up, it's time to go to school!"

"Dad, you're yelling at a pinecone!"

(from FB)