My Virtual Reading Room

Long-promised excerpts from his wonderful autobiography, "Memories and Adventures"--

capt_facepalm--here you are, at long last ;)
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Tales out of school:

"It was only in the latest stage of my Stonyhurst development that I realized that I had some literary streak in me which was not common to all.

It came to me as quite a surprise, and even more perhaps to my masters, who had taken a rather hopeless view of my future prospects.

One master, when I told him that I thought of being a civil engineer, remarked,

"Well, Doyle, you may be an engineer, but I don't think you will ever be a civil one."

Another assured me that I would never do any good in the world, and perhaps from his point of view his prophecy has been justified."

"Early in my career there, an offer had been made to my mother that my school fees would be remitted if I were dedicated to the Church. She refused this, so both the Church and I had an escape."

On medical school:

"...There was kindly Crum Brown, the chemist, who sheltered himself carefully before exploding some mixture, which usually failed to ignite, so that the loud "Boom!" uttered by the class was the only resulting sound. Brown would emerge from his retreat with a "Really, gentlemen!" of remonstrance, and go on without allusion to the abortive experiment."

On medical practice:

"It is well that medical practice has its humorous side, for it has much to depress one. Most men never use their reasoning power at all on the religious side, but if they did they would find it difficult sometimes to reconcile the sights which a physician sees with the idea of a merciful providence. If one loses the explanation that this life is a spiritual chastening for another, and thinks that death ends all, and that this is our one experience, then it is impossible to sustain the goodness or the omnipotence of God. So I felt at the time, and it made me a Materialist, but now I know well that I was judging a story on the strength of one chapter."

On running for political office:

"It is a vile business this electioneering, though no doubt it is chastening in its effects. They say that mud-baths are healthy and purifying, and I can compare it to nothing else.

This applies particularly, I think, to Scotland, where the art of heckling has been carried to extremes. This asking of questions was an excellent thing so long as it was honest in its desire to know the candidate's opinion upon a public measure. But the honest questions are the exception and the unfortunate man is baited by all sorts of senseless trick questions from mischievous and irresponsible persons, which are designed to annoy him and make him seem foolish or ignorant.

Some reform is needed in this matter. Often, after a speech of an hour, I had an hour of questions, one more absurd than another. The press records will show, I hope, that I held my own, for I knew my subject well, and by this time I had had a good schooling on the platform.

Sometimes I countered heavily. I remember one robust individual coming down with a carefully prepared question which he shouted from the back of the hall. I had been speaking of retaliation in commercial tariffs, and his question was, "Mister Candidate, how do you reconcile retaliation with the Sermon on the Mount?" I answered: "We cannot in life always reach the highest ideals. Have you sold all and given to the poor?" The man was locally famous as having done nothing of the sort, and there was a howl of delight at my answer which fairly drove him out of the hall."