“He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice, and said,
"Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back and said,
"Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, and she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!”

― Dan Clark, Chicken Soup for the College Soul: Inspiring and Humorous Stories About College

A Mathematician's Love Proposal

You integrate my differential
And dislocate my focus.
My pulse goes up like exponential
Whenever you cross my locus.

Without you, the world is null and void:
So won't you be my cardioid?

Christmas To Do List

• delay • defer • equivocate
• make some tea • procrastinate
• look at phone • stroke the cat
• readjust the thermostat
• dawdle • dither • hem and haw
• eat mince pie • chew my jaw
• write one card • spin on chair
• play six games of solitaire
• take a break • make a brew
• review my list of things to do
• eat mince pie • paper scrunch
• stroke the cat • have some lunch
• prioritise new tasks to shirk
(more cups of tea + less housework)
• look at phone • spin on chair
• eat mince pie • loiter • stare
• consider shopping • have quick doze
• rest mince pie on bridge of nose
• stroke the cat • take a break
• write a card • eat some cake
• spin phone • mince cat • stroke tea • wallow
• write To Do list for tomorrow

Brian Bilston

(cross-posting from greatpoetry )

The Question

Erm, well – I begin, shifting nervously in my chair –
if it’s true there is no heaven and no hell,
no eternity or long hereafter,
no divine plan or offstage direction from an invisible hand,
then how do we make sense of it all,
how do we make our way through this life,
this glorious, ridiculous, ramshackle world of ours,
with its wars and brutality, conflicts and petty arguments,
the ten thousand tiny acts of kindness
which happen unnoticed before breakfast,
and all that love and pain, happiness and loneliness
that comes to us unannounced, by turns,
as if we ourselves were pitched daily
onto the waves of one of its vast, mysterious oceans,
not knowing whether today is the day we drown
or we find ourselves washed up
on some strange but friendly shore?

Mmm – you say, after a lengthy silence –
what I meant was … do you have any questions
about the job?

(cross-posting to greatpoetry )

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.

Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'

'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'

'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'

So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

(found via conuly --many thanks!)

(cross-posting to greatpoetry )

(An old favorite; cross-posting to greatpoetry )

The Puritan's Ballad

My love came up from Barnegat,
The sea was in his eyes;
He trod as softly as a cat
And told me terrible lies.

His hair was yellow as new-cut pine
In shavings curled and feathered;
I thought how silver it would shine
By cruel winters weathered.
( But he was in his twentieth year, / This time I'm speaking of... )

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

Kahlil Gibran

(cross-posting to greatpoetry )

«Август»

Борис Пастернак

1953 год.

Как обещало, не обманывая,
Проникло солнце утром рано
Косою полосой шафрановою
От занавеси до дивана.

Оно покрыло жаркой охрою
Соседний лес, дома поселка,
Мою постель, подушку мокрую,
И край стены за книжной полкой.

( Read more... )

As promised in most truthful fashion,
The sun got in resolved to lounge
And laid a slanting strip of saffron
Between the curtain and the couch.

He splashed hot ochre, having pointed
At nearby woods, the township land,
My bed, the pillow slightly moistened,
Some of the wall behind the stand.

( Read more... )

 

And a more literal, unrhymed translation, if you wish to compare:

As promised and without deception,
The sun passed through in early morning
In a slanting saffron stripe
From the curtain to the sofa.

It covered with burning ochre
The neighboring woods, village houses,
My bed, the wet pillow
And the strip of wall behind the bookshelf.

 

( Read more... )

(from his FB)

Странно, но и в 2002 многое было понятно. Это Ирка Лукьянова привезла мне от бабушки старинный стереоскоп с набором открыток.

Открыток для стереоскопа набор уютно-грозовой,
В котором старая Европа в канун дебютной мировой.
Там поезд движется к туннелю среди, мне кажется, Балкан,
Везя француза-пустомелю, в руке держащего бокал,( Read more... )

  ·
And so you are saying to me, "How life treating you, my dear?
Your fingers are shaking like drumsticks,
And your temples have grown as white as January.
Is that because of an icy love, or a snowy melancholy?"

"Not at all," I will answer, "life is treating me very well,
If I want, I will fly, if I want, I will swim.
I will fly in the skies in the blue heights,
I will swim like a fish in the clear water,
Like a fish in the water, like a fish in the water,
Like a living fish in the boiling water."

(May 31, 2024)

One of the famous Soviet children's poets. Haven't we all known people like this neighbor? ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Агния Барто

Наш сосед Иван Петрович

Знают нашего соседа
Все ребята со двора.
Он им даже до обеда
Говорит, что спать пора.

All the children in our communal yard
Know our neighbor.
He tells them it's bedtime
When it's not even lunchtime yet.

Он на всех глядит сердито,
Все не нравится ему:
— Почему окно открыто?
Мы в Москве, а не в Крыму!

He looks at everyone angrily,
And disapproves of everything:
"Why is the window open?
We are in Moscow, not in the Crimea!"( Read more... )

“If all be true that I do think,
There are five reasons we should drink,
Good wine- a friend - or being dry-
Or lest we should be by and by-
Or any other reason why.”

― Henry Aldrich

С. Маршак

О пьянстве

Для пьянства есть такие поводы:
Поминки, праздник, встреча, проводы,
Крестины, свадьба и развод,
Мороз, охота, Новый год,
Выздоровленье, новоселье,
Печаль, раскаянье, веселье,
Успех, награда, новый чин
И просто пьянство - без причин!

 

---

Впервые в журнале "Новый мир", 1946, № 4-5.

Перевод эпиграммы поэта Генри Олдрича (1647-1710).

Печатается по сб. "Сатирические стихи", 1964.

В одних садах цветет миндаль,
в других метет метель.
В одних краях еще февраль,
в других уже апрель.
Проходит время, вечный счет,
год за год, век за век,
Во всем - его неспешный ход,
его кромешный бег...( Read more... )

ЛАНЦЕЛОТ

А по чистому полю
Снег-позёмка метёт,
" Я пришёл дать вам волю!, —
Сказал Ланцелот. —
Расскажите знакомым,
Выходите со мной,
Чтоб сразиться с драконом
За стеной крепостной!"
( Read more... )

С. Маршак

Юный Фриц
или
Экзамен на аттестат "зверости"

Юный Фриц, любимец мамин,
В класс явился на экзамен.
Задают ему вопрос:
- Для чего фашисту нос?

Young Fritz, mamma's favorite,
Came to his classroom to take an exam.
They asked him this question:
"Why does a fascist need a nose?"

( Read more... )

Wishing you and/or your family members greater success in the academic efforts than this hapless student had ;)

The illustrations in the video are by the famous and talented Kukryniksy.

(cross-posting to greatpoetry )




Samuil Marshak
About one schoolboy and six poor marks

A schoolboy came from school one day
And hid his record-book away.

“Where is your record-book?” asked Mum,
So out again it had to come.

A "Very Poor" caught Mother’s eye;

She shook her head and heaved a sigh.

On hearing of his son’s disgrace
His Dad went scarlet in the face.

“What was it for, upon my word?”
“I called a baobab a bird.( Read more... )

Лебедь, щука и рак/Swan, Pike and Crawfish LISTEN: Swan, Pike and Crawfish, read by Leontiev. Лебедь, щука и рак. В исполнении А. Леонтьева. [Real Audio] [.wav format] [.mp3 format]

Когда в товарищах согласья нет, На лад их дело не пойдет, И выйдет из него не дело, только мука ____________ Однажды Лебедь, Рак да Щука Везти с поклажей воз взялись, И вместе трое все в него впряглись; Из кожи лезут вон, а возу все нет ходу! Поклажа бы для них казалась и легка: Да Лебедь рвется в облака, Рак пятится назад, а Щука тянет в воду. Кто виноват из них, кто прав,- судить не нам; Да только воз и ныне там.   When partners can't agree Their dealings come to naught And trouble is their labor's only fruit. ____________ Once Crawfish, Swan and Pike Set out to pull a loaded cart, And all together settled in the traces; They pulled with all their might, but still the cart refused to budge! The load it seemed was not too much for them: Yet Crawfish scrambled backwards, Swan strained up skywards, Pike pulled toward the sea. Who's guilty here and who is right is not for us to say- But anyway the cart's still there today.

Source: max.mmlc.northwestern.edu/mdenner/Demo/texts/swan_pike_crawfish.htm

ТИМУР


«Тому беда, кто жаждет разрушенья,

Кто ищет в трупах славу и забвенье.

Его молитвы не услышит бог,

И своего не даст благословенья!» —
( Read more... )

Автору "Анны Карениной"



Толстой, ты доказал с терпеньем и талантом,
Что женщине не следует "гулять"
Ни с камер-юнкером, ни с флигель-адъютантом,
Когда она жена и мать.

(1876(?))

To the author of "Anna Karenina"

Tolstoy, you have proven, with patience and talent,
That a woman shouldn't "go walking"
Either with a lord of the king's bedchamber, or with an aide-de-camp,
When she is a wife and mother.

(N.A. Nekrasov)

Дни идут... всё так же воздух душен,
Дряхлый мир - на роковом пути...
Человек - до ужаса бездушен,
Слабому спасенья не найти!

Но... молчи, во гневе справедливом!
Ни людей, ни века не кляни:
Волю дав лирическим порывам,
Изойдешь слезами в наши дни...

The days pass...and the air feels just as stuffy,
The dilapidated world is on a fateful path...
Humans are horrifyingly soulless,
A frail person cannot hope for justice!

But...keep silent, in your righteous anger!
Do not curse the people, or the era:
If one gives free reign to lyrical outbursts,
One will only dissolve in tears, in these days we live in...



...well, when do you think this was written? And who do you think the author might be?

EDIT: the author is N.A. Nekrasov and the date is 1877