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10 Things you MUST Know About Relationships

Life has a way of answering questions you didn't even ask. As I lean upon my 40th birthday and reflect upon my adult life so far, I find this to be especially true when it comes to relationships. From being the recipient and the perpetrator of heartbreak, to cyclically selecting the wrong type, to over expectation, to self-doubt, to romantic bliss... the list is seemingly endless on the ways I have grown in my understanding of relationship dynamics.

While I'm sure there is still plenty of room for self-sabotage and reflective growth, this is a list of 10 nuggets of wisdom I am happy to have shaped from my experiences thus far. I share this with the hope it will resonate with some of you, maybe even help; these are messages I have found in the mess.

1. Healthy relationships come from within.
Just because you are available for a relationship doesn't mean you are ready for one. If you're not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you're not ready for that relationship. Don't make the other person suffer for your own lack of integrity or inability to embrace the truths of your life.

2. Heartbreak may mean the end of a relationship, but it's not the end of love.
Know this... life is too short to not kick fear in the ass and allow yourself to love again. People may call you a "hopeless romantic." Be confident in knowing that you can be a romantic without being hopeless. There are good people out there; and that at least one of them is right for you. Don't let your pain, fear, or anyone convince you to settle for less.