I recently celebrated my last birthday of my 40s. While most of my 30s was consumed with the non-stop pandemonium of four babies growing into toddlers growing into school-age boys, my 40s have given me more time for personal growth and even a little reflection. I’ve probably learned more about life in my 40s than at any other time. So, what wisdom and observations do I wish I could give to my younger self? Here are 47 things I’ve learned in my 40s.

1. It’s OK to say no as long as you learn the art of doing so graciously.

2. Don’t waste time worrying and moaning about stuff you have no control over. Let it go.

3. Everything you see depends on how you look at it.

4. Stop comparing your insides to everyone else’s outsides.

5. Listening to someone — really listening — is one of the most important, respectful and rewarding things you can do.

What are some things you’d tell your younger self?