(from the Edwardian Society FB group)
A three-year-old's report on Thanksgiving: "I didn't like the turkey, but I liked the bread he ate."
Thanksgiving menu: roast turkey, candied yams, and pickled relatives.
(Arnold H. Glasgow)
Some neighbors of my grandparents' gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.
Ever gracious and tactful, she still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note. It read: "Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn't last very long in our hourse."
The checkout clerk at the supermarket was unusually cheerful even though it was near closing time. "You must have picked up a ton of groceries today," a customer said to the checker.
"How can you stay so pleasant?"
"We can all count our blessings," the clerk replied. "The hardest part of this job is the turkeys and the watermelons. I just thank God that Thanksgiving doesn't come in July."
(all of the above from Reader's Digest: Laughter: The Best Medicine: Holidays)
(from ScienceAlert, who got it from FeelingGood Tees)