My Virtual Reading Room

The entire article, which includes the link to the full text of the book, can be seen here:
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/04/17/the-art-of-conversation-martine-etiquette-1866/

I would like to quote some of the passages from the book itself that particularly caught my eye; some, because they still apply today, just as much as they did at the time the book was published:

Regarding those who tell long, boring stories:
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Stories, however good—and they are often to be recommended—suffer under one of the disadvantages to which anecdotes are liable,—they do not bear repetition; and no one can be expected to possess a stock that shall furnish new and acceptable wares on every occasion. They form in conversation the resource of those who want imagination, and must be received with indulgence; but to deserve this favor, they must be short, well told, well pointed, and judiciously adapted to the feelings and composition of the party. We have all of us at times known a good story or anecdote introduced under such inappropriate circumstances, as to make a whole party look grave and feel uncomfortable.

The honor of demolishing the weavers of long tales shall be left to Cowper.

"But sedentary weavers of long tales
Give me the fidgets, and my patience fails.
'Tis the most asinine employ on earth,
To hear them tell of parentage and birth;
And echo conversations dull and dry,
Embellished with he said and so said I.
At every interview their route the same,
The repetition makes attention lame;
We bristle up with unsuccessful speed,
And in the saddest part, cry—Droll, indeed."
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...Rousseau tells us, that "persons who know little talk a great deal, while those who know a great deal say very little."
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...If you would render yourself pleasing in social parties, never speak to gratify any particular vanity or passion of your own, but always aim to interest or amuse others by themes which you know are in accordance with their tastes and understandings.
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...Reproof is a medicine like mercury or opium; if it be improperly administered, with report either to the adviser or the advised, it will do harm instead of good.
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...Never offer advice, but where there is some probability of its being followed.

...To offer advice to an angry man, is like blowing against a tempest.
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Reflect upon the different appearances things make to you from what they did some years ago, and don't imagine that your opinion will never alter, because you are extremely positive at present. Let the remembrance of your past changes of sentiment make you more flexible.
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It is ill-manners to trouble people with talking too much either of yourself, or your affairs. If you are full of yourself, consider that you, and your affairs, are not so interesting to other people as to you.
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Men repent speaking ten times for once that they repent keeping silence.
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It is as obliging in company, especially of superiors, to listen attentively, as to talk entertainingly.

Don't think of knocking out another person's brains, because he differs in opinion from you. It will be as rational to knock yourself on the head, because you differ from yourself ten years ago.
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If you are really a wit, remember that in conversation its true office consists more in finding it in others, than showing off a great deal of it yourself. He who goes out of your company pleased with himself is sure to be pleased with you. Even as great a man as Dr. Johnson once retired from a party where everybody had spent the evening in listening to him, and remarked, as he went out, "We have had a pleasant evening, and much excellent conversation."
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Do not ruffle or provoke any man; why should any one be the worse for coming into company with you? Be not yourself provoked. Why should you give any man the advantage over you?
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In private, watch your thoughts; in your family, watch your temper; in society, watch your tongue.
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And some very dated, and thus amusing advice:

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Never ask a question under any circumstances. In the first place, it is too proud; in the second place, it may be very inconvenient or very awkward to give a reply. A lady inquired of what branch of medical practice a certain gentleman was professor. He held the chair of midwifery!
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Never ask any one who is conversing with you to repeat his words. Nothing is ruder than to say, "Pardon me, will you repeat that sentence? I did not hear you at first," and thus imply that your attention was wandering when he first spoke.
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In the company of ladies, do not labor to establish learned points by long-winded arguments. They do not care to take too much pains to find out truth.
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Never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark gloves, as you may soil her white ones.
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