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This journal is mostly public because most of it contains poetry, quotations, pictures, jokes, videos, and news (medical and otherwise). If you like what you see, you are welcome to drop by, anytime. I update frequently.

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Quote of the day

Jan. 28th, 2014 at 12:29 PM

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.

— Wayne W. Dyer

Tags: inspiration, quote of the day

Comments

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earthspirits.livejournal.com

Jan. 28th, 2014 06:45 pm (UTC)

A very wise quotation, Cat!

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 12:59 pm (UTC)

Yes :)

browngirl.livejournal.com

Jan. 28th, 2014 07:40 pm (UTC)

I thought I was going to disagree, but on further thought, I do actually agree. For instance, I could and did blame my first boyfriend for assaulting me, inasmuch as that it was his choice to do so and I wasn't going to accept that I deserved it, but I still had to pick up my life and do the work myself of repairing my sense of self and keeping myself out of other abusive relationships. Maybe blaming him was something worthwhile, or at least not blaming myself was worthwhile, but it was the tiniest first step of a long process of being responsible for and taking care of myself, all of which I had to do regardless of what he did or didn't. So I guess I agree with this, in the end.

*makes a note*

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 01:03 pm (UTC)

Just so--bad things can happen, and it's not because one deserves them to happen--but what this quotation says to me, which I think is also the conclusion at which you arrived, is that blame is counterproductive; it's more that, "OK, this bad thing happened to me" or even, "OK, I have made this error"--and then, "OK, given all these factors, where do I go from here, what do I need to do to move on?" It doesn't mean the other person, or circumstances, were not responsible, but more that well, one should figure out how to move on from the situation.

There's another essay on the topic you might like, here, it made me chuckle, the lamest excuse ever mentioned in it:

http://www.randomthoughtsandlotsacoffee.com/1/post/2013/12/blame-game.html

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 01:07 pm (UTC)

P.S. Sorry to hear re: your first boyfriend.

*Hugs*

browngirl.livejournal.com

Jan. 31st, 2014 04:23 pm (UTC)

*hugs you back* Life is often like that. At least I didn't do anything like marry him!

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 07:34 pm (UTC)

Unfortunately, far too often...you'd seen the pair of quotes from Whittier and Harte before?

And yes, thank goodness for that, at least! Thank goodness you were able to get away...

debriswoman

Jan. 28th, 2014 08:15 pm (UTC)

Noted:-)

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 01:04 pm (UTC)

I'm sure you had known this already ;)

debriswoman

Feb. 1st, 2014 12:10 am (UTC)

Doesn't hurt to be reminded though

Thank you

med_cat

Feb. 1st, 2014 12:16 am (UTC)

All right :)

wirral-bagpuss.livejournal.com

Jan. 28th, 2014 10:45 pm (UTC)

I agree to an extent. I think that environment people find themselves in can also be a contributing factor. Someone may find themselves in circumstances that is very difficult to get out of and will feel the need to place blame until, if ever, they are able to get out of that environment, it is a vicious circle. :(

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 01:05 pm (UTC)

But you see, blame is counterproductive. One should acknowledge, sure, that "this set of circumstances is bad" or even that "this person has mistreated me"--but, IMHO, if one blames the other person, circumstances, etc., one is not likely to _do_ anything to change the situation.

One should _acknowledge_ what is, and work on changing what can be changed. See further:

http://www.randomthoughtsandlotsacoffee.com/1/post/2013/12/blame-game.html

skyfire101.livejournal.com

Jan. 30th, 2014 02:25 pm (UTC)

Agree. Laying blame on people is no point and wastes time, which is much better spent, just getting on with life.

med_cat

Jan. 31st, 2014 01:06 pm (UTC)

Quite so; one acknowledges and figures out how to move on.

You might like this one too:

http://www.randomthoughtsandlotsacoffee.com/1/post/2013/12/blame-game.html

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