My Virtual Reading Room

duathir--here you go:

"Oh, Vanya, look at these clowns!
Grinning from ear to ear...
Oh, Vanya, how heavily painted they are,
And they sound just like drunkards!

And that one over there--no, really, Vanya--
He really looks like my brother-in-law--just as big a drunkard as he is.
No, no, look, really, look--really, I mean it, Vanya!"

"Listen, Zina, leave your brother-in-law alone:
Whatever kind of person he is, he's still a relative--
Look at yourself, why don't you--your face all painted and you reek of tobacco--
Watch out, or you'll get it from me!

And instead of chattering on, Zina,
You could run to the store and buy some liquor during the intermission...
Oh, you're not gonna? Well, I'll--go alone then,
Move over, Zina!"

"Oh, Vanya, look at these midgets!
They're all dressed in jersey, not cheviot--
At our Sewing Factory Number Five
I doubt anybody could make such outfits.

And really, every one of your friends, Vanya,
For God's sake--wear such rags
And always drink so early in the morning
Such nasty moonshine!"

"My friends--although they're not dressed in expensive sheepskin--
At least use their wages to provide for their families,
And the nasty moonshine they drink out of thrift--
Although in the morning, but they pay for it themselves!

Why, you yourself, Zina,
Had a buddy who worked at the tire factory--
He used to guzzle not even moonshine, but gasoline--
Don't you recall it, Zina?"

"Ooh, Vanya--look, look--pa-a-arrots!
Oh, I swear I'm gonna scream!
And who's that, in a short blouse?
I want a blouse like that!

At the end of the quarter--really, Vanya,
Get one like that made for me...
Why do you say 'leave me alone', again with the 'leave me alone'--
It hurts my feelings, Vanya!"

"You, Zina, would do better to keep mum--
The end-of-the-quarter bonus isn't gonna happen!
Who sent complaint letters to my workplace, hmm?!
Not you, was it?! I'd read them!!

Besides, Zina, if you were to stretch that blouse onto yourself,
It would only look like a disgrace!
You'd need a lot more cloth--
Where are we gonna find the money for that, Zina?"

"Oh, Vanya, I'm just gonna die watching these little acrobats!
Look at him twirl about, the rascal!
Our head of the department, Comrade Satikov,
Recently leaped about just like that, in the factory club.

And you, Ivan, when you come home,
You eat and then just sprawl on the sofa,
Or yell, like you are now, when you're not drunk...
How come, Ivan?"

"You, Zina, are just asking me to be rude to you,
You keep trying to hurt my feelings!
I bustle about all day long...
Then I come home--and there you sit!

And, of course, then, Zina,
I feel like going to the liquor store,
And when I come there, my friends are there...
Because I never drink alone, Zina!

Oho, look at that female gymnast,
The tricks she's turning, although she's not too young,
Although in our ice cream cafe "The Swallow"
One of the waitresses can do that, too.

And all your friends, Zina,
The only thing they do is knit winter hats,
One gets dull just looking at their stupid faces, Zina!"

"How do you mean, Vanya, what about Lilka Fedoseeva,
The cashier from ZPKO,
Remember, you kept flirting with her at the housewarming party? (you don't remember, eh),
She's quite good-looking, y'know,

And anyway, rather than quarrel with each other, Vanya,
Let's go to Erevan for our holiday!
How come you say 'leave me alone'--again with the 'leave me alone'--
It hurts my feelings, Vanya!"

1973