My Virtual Reading Room

How to be grateful--and whether to be grateful, an ever-relevant piece of advice from Carolyn Hax:

...Please take this as permission to treat certain periods of your life as an unholy free-for-all during which you are not obligated to feel grateful. Unless gratitude helps — in which case, go ahead with the gratitude exercises.

Some times are really just about getting through. I've suggested this before and it was really helpful for me during the worst of the pandemic: When overwhelmed, try zooming either way in or way out.

So, zoom in: Think of your next task and only your next task, and don’t let your mind drift to the next thing. A toddler tantrum is probably the best (ha) opportunity to work this muscle. All that matters is your child in that moment. All those big feelings a toddler doesn’t yet have the language to express. You listen, and soothe, and there is nothing else in your life until your child feels heard.

Or zoom out: Look at the ocean, the stars; think of humanity centuries ago. Think of what people have endured through history. Think of how spring and summer push through the soil whether we're paying attention to them or not. Look at art, listen to music.

Again — both can work, depending on what the moment demands. Where I find it's most stressful to dwell is in the weeks-and-months range. If you're wondering how you can hold yourself together for weeks/months under these conditions, then you're actually undermining yourself. Weeks-and-months range is for optimism, “I can't wait till [good thing]” mode. For negativity, it's way in or way out: “I've got this” or “This is bigger than just me.”

As always, you mileage may vary.

Seneca's Tragic Plays, from Classical Wisdom


The Badass Lady Pilot Who Revolutionized the Art of Food Writing, from Mental Floss

With a name like Clementine Paddleford, she should have been unforgettable. So why don’t you know who she is?


Letter by Letter, Steve Gleason Typed His Memoir With His Eyes, from The New York Times

The former N.F.L. player has been living with A.L.S. for more than a decade. Sharing “the most lacerating and vulnerable times” in “A Life Impossible” was worth the physical and emotional toll, he says.